Yes.
This is the topic of my lifetime.
Over the years I have noticed how philosphers, artists, writers, play writes, and even theologion's have a primary focus for all of their work, this theme is part of their essence, or personsaility, if you will. Well, in 23 years of existence I found mine, vanity. This is what I will be known for, if anything.
Ecclesiaties 1:1 (I believe) "Meaningless, meaningless, meaningless (or, vanity, vanity, vanity)...." in the Hebrew this word being translating deals with the transitory nature like, for instance, a cloud of smoke, here one minute and gone the next. This is life.
Once, at a wedding, I seen an old man writing his name in the stars (fancy decorations at the tables) the littered the top of the table where he was placed, though it looked more like a prison cell for this miserable, lonely, old soul that was waiting for this fascade to be done. This was the only thing this old soul had, a name, but even that would soon be forgotten in potentially 100 years by most everyone... can you remember the name of even your Great Grandparents?
Then, I left the Wedding early because I am a recovering junkie who was found by Jesus and hanging around middle class drunk folks isn't my kind of thing, because my dark still desires all that. On the walk home I ran into a man who had had his share to drink (the joke was on me), and we shared a brief conversation as he was attempting to scale two flights of stairs. In the midst of this conversation He shared about how life was about your pleasure, having fun, and making a good name for yourself (see a theme? hah).
One thing I know, I will die and my name will be forgotten though I can't fathom the fullness of this statement, it is reality.
God is eternal, forever and ever, existing within perfect love, grace, mercy, ect ectin relationship with those who give up themselves, who give their name.
This is truth, but do you know what a scary truth is? I would rather cling to my temporary, fading, jaded name than exchange it for the Everlasting one.
So, I sit alongside that old man writing my name with little fake stars on the table at a wedding reception...
Jesus, have mercy on us.
"because my dark still desires all that" -- i love how this looks and sounds... beautiful, but small.. in comparison.
ReplyDeletefunny how we became consumed with identity through trying to mimic God -- when we had it to begin with. and funny how we cling to ragged skins and fading fronds as furiously as we do.. i choose the starlight instead, so bright you won't be able to see me .. my lost identity and my found spirit free between the worlds, burning off the rest... "i do not exist...only you exist" ;)